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🙌#30: Unstuck: Your Guide to the Seven-Stage Journey Out Of Depression by James S. Gordon MD - Book Summary & Key Takeaways

🙌#30: Unstuck: Your Guide to the Seven-Stage Journey Out Of Depression by James S. Gordon MD - Book Summary & Key Takeaways

What are the Seven Stages in the Journey Out Of Depression? How do we navigate them?

Hello courageous people! 👋 Welcome to Edition 30.

This week, we are reading 📚 Unstuck: Your Guide to the Seven-Stage Journey Out Of Depression 🖋 by James S. Gordon MD.

The main theme of this book centres around the fact that across the world, millions of people are taking prescription medications for anxiety and depression, yet continue to suffer. Unstuck is in no way anti-medication and James agrees that it absolutely has a role and a place (after all, he is a psychiatrist!👨‍⚕️💊) but he does advocate for a more holistic approach.

This book paints the steps we can take to free ourselves from depression, and it does a phenomenal job of taking us on the journey.

So let’s jump in! All text in italics are quotes taken directly from the book.

🧐 Reframing Depression

Instead of thinking of our symptoms of depression as something that is “wrong with us”, what if we reframe it like this:

“Depression is not a disease, the end point of a pathological process. It is a sign that our lives are out of balance, that we’re stuck. It’s a wake-up call and the start of a journey that can help us become whole and happy, a journey that can change and transform our lives. This book is the story of that journey and a detailed map of its challenges and rewards.” - Loc 50

What a powerful way of thinking to help us take back control! 💪

We are currently in an epidemic of clinical depression. In the USA, 16-18 million people are diagnosed with it every single year, and that doesn’t even count the people who have less severe presentations.

Dr James S. Gordon knows these problems intimately, as a Harvard educated Psychiatrist and the CEO and Founder of the Centre for Mind Body Medicine. This is what he says about working with people:

“When I work with depression, I know that sooner or later I will address each of these dimensions—attitudinal, physical, mental, emotional, familial, social, vocational, ecological, economic, and spiritual.

Each is part of who we are. All are interconnected and have a profound effect on one another.” - page 31

And this knowledge, this approach really explains why James has such a problem with the medical model often used to treat people presenting with the symptoms of depression: put them on antidepressant medication. At least not as the first and only port of call.

He advocates for the approach that there are so many other things we can do that actually have far better results.

(Side note: if you want to get more information on the way that the pharmaceutical industry releases skewed and biased research to support the widespread use of antidepressants, I would highly recommend reading the Introduction chapter to this book, pages 1-47.)

☀️ What Are The Seven Stages Of The Healing Journey?

The healing journey is broken down into distinct stages:

Let’s go into each stage in a bit more detail.

👂 Stage 1: The Call

There are two different parts when we receive The Call, or two notes even:

“The first note is straightforward, increasingly assertive, and difficult to ignore. It is the announcement— through emotional pain, troubled dark thoughts, and physical signs and symptoms—that we are depressed.

Once we’ve heard it clearly, we can attend to the second note, the one that calls us to change.” - page 54

So that’s 1. Pain and 2. Change. I know I can relate to experiencing these Calls, and I’m sure you can too. Responding to the Call is the difficult part and figuring out what steps to take next.

According to James, here is the trouble if the first response to our Call is medication:

“This pharmacological response may be well meaning, but it is often premature as well as shortsighted and potentially harmful.

The drugs may sometimes enable us to do more successfully what we’ve been doing, but what we’ve been doing and feeling and thinking is what made us depressed in the first place. Too often, the drugs are a Band-Aid, not a cure.” - page 57

I don’t know about you, but that last part blew my mind. 🤯 🤯 🤯

The pain is a sign and a symptom that something is wrong. That our lives are out of balance. When we think of the pain in this way, it becomes the beginning of recovery rather than the end of life as we knew it.

“It’s not a death knell. It’s a wake-up call.” - page 57

🙋‍♀️ How do we respond to the second part of the Call?

By asking ourselves 3 questions:

Once we have reconnected with ourselves and our intentions, the next best thing we can do is identify if there is anything in our lives which might be harming us. We can do this by:

Seeing our doctor and getting a full checkup, disclosing depressive symptoms and checking if any prescription or non prescription substances could be contributing. (There are even lists in the book of medications/substances to look out for)
Consult a holistic or integrative physician
Check for food sensitivities - especially caffeine, wheat and sugar can worsen depressive symptoms. (There is a full elimination and re-introduction plan for this outlined)
Use food as medicine, ensuring to get adequate amounts of all essential nutrients whether that be through eating or recommended supplements.

👫 Stage 2: Guides On The Journey

“The journey through depression, beyond confusion, requires going back and forth between external and internal guidance.

In the beginning, and later, too, in times of crisis and confusion, a human Guide, a therapist, or a teacher is invaluable. She holds you in the reliable healing embrace of her compassion, and holds up to you a mirror that helps you to see and understand yourself more fully, more generously.“ - page 145

Unfortunately, it can often take some time and effort in order to find the right Guide. Here are some things that James recommends we look our and do for when searching:

Our guide can also be an Internal one as well, though it can take some time to connect with it. We each have our own inner wisdom that we can tap into and develop.

🙇‍♀️ Stage 3: The Surrender To Change

When we are on the journey through depression, we must navigate a balance between action and acceptance.

Sometimes the time is right for action, where other times we need to surrender—and this is exactly what this stage is about.

“Surrender isn’t the same as submission. Submission means giving up, resigning yourself to the limitations that are holding you back or keeping you down.

In surrendering, you’re opening yourself up to the current of your life, which is always moving, always changing. And you’re inviting and embracing the deep changes that are starting to work inside of you.” - page 149

One way we can help ourselves surrender, is through movement.

James sometimes ask his patients to do something physical that feels somewhat uncomfortable to them, or outside of their comfort zone. For example if someone is self conscious about their body, he might ask them to dance in front of the mirror.

“This kind of activity can help you break fixed patterns, give you the opportunity to discover other suppressed sides of yourself, as well as to move into the flow of your life.” - page 164

Sometimes this prompt is used for patients in an activity that they already take part in. Take April for example:

“April was taking yoga lessons when she came to see me. She liked the postures and “the workout” and the increased vitality she felt afterward. But as she talked about it, it became clear that what should have been a delight and a release was becoming, like the rest of her life, a chore and a burden. She “had to” do her yoga just as she “had to” work as a statistician. She spoke of needing to “put in more time at the studio” and to do more “advanced” poses.”

But the thing is, yoga is supposed to be about liberation. So James told April to start doing more yoga at home, alone, taking as much time as she wanted in any pose. He encouraged her to breathe deeply, let her feelings emerge, and allow her body to move as it wanted to.

“To April’s amazement, after a month or two, in the middle of breathing slowly and deeply, as she held a standard posture, such as the cobra or the warrior, her body began to move on its own. Sometimes it felt as if she were melting into the posture, even becoming the animal it represented—feeling the cobra’s peculiar power to rise gracefully, swaying. Sometimes as she held a pose, breathing, relaxing, tears of release, of relief from years of physical and mental tension, trickled down her cheeks. Sometimes she found her body moving into postures she had seen only in books, or had never even imagined.

“It’s a miracle to me,” she said. It was as if Mother Nature were coming to her in the space and time of those yoga postures, filling her from within.

For the first time, April felt moved not by others’ expectations or her own fear, but by something within herself, “energy”—she couldn’t think of a better word—that seemed to renew itself.” - page 164-166

Incredible things can happen when we truly surrender and allow our bodies to just … be.

😈 Stage 4: Dealing With Demons

“In this chapter, I’ll focus on some of the demons that are most likely to disturb or even disable you, including:

We can think of each demon that keeps us confined in depression as a teacher, and the answer is concealed within that particular demon on how we can be free.

But first we must be able to recognise our demons. When we next feel one rising, we can turn to two different types of meditation:

Sitting Meditation
Walking Meditation

The aim being to let the thoughts come and go, recognising that we are not our thoughts.

Once we have recognised what type of demon we are dealing with (from the list above), we can go about working with them. Strategies include:

internal dialogue and conversations (scripts provided)
music, books and movies
physical movement
expressing emotions such as anger through voice, or safely hitting something
traditional Chinese Medicine

🌙 Stage 5: The Dark Night Of The Soul

This section is for a time when we may feel like we are in complete despair. James shares that he believes this is an even more urgent version of the Call outlined in Stage 1.

“I’ll begin by discussing the importance of acknowledging to yourself the despair you feel and the suicidal thoughts that may come with it. I’ll go on to encourage any of you who may be feeling this way to reach out to Guides who are capable of hearing what’s happening to you and supporting you as you go through this difficult passage.” - page 240

Medical professionals are taught to ask about suicidal thoughts, but often give off the impression that they don’t actually want to talk about it. But,

“It’s time for all of us—physicians, therapists, and patients—to bring these dark flashes of despair, these terrible preoccupations with death, out of the closet of fear and shame and into the open space of shared discussion.” - page 242

The thing about a Dark Night is that it is by definition, limited. These moments only last for a certain amount of time, but they are very difficult to move through without guidance.

By bringing it out into the light, we significantly decrease our risk of irreversibly succumbing to the darkness whether that is by a conversation with a loved one, a medical professional or a helpline.

“Times of despair whenever they come can, with care and courage, become times of the most profound, life-affirming change.” - page 277

[Sidenote: out of every single book I have read this year, this is the only one which has actually talked about and tackled suicidal ideation and working through it in any significant way. If you would like to read more about this, including are looking for more guidance if you have a concern about a young person or loved one it is Chapter 5, pages 240-281.]

🙏 Stage 6: Spirituality - The Blessing

“Just about everyone who makes the journey out of depression feels, sooner or later, a connection to something larger than himself that touches and transforms his life. Both this connection and that larger “something” are what we often call “spiritual.” - page 282

This usually starts with a brief glimpse of light. Sometimes that glimpse might even have been something which gave us great joy in childhood.

If we can become skilled at seeing and harnessing these glimpses,

“ … they can become a guiding vision, a course from which inevitable deviations are continuously corrected. Sometimes, though, it’s only after we’ve been through the worst, most painful, darkest times of depression, when all hope has been stripped away, that this vision emerges again with stability and clarity.” - page 283

How can we better connect with our spirituality?

Through our breath. Our breath and our spirit are intimately connected.
Meditation
Belief and faith practices (even if we are not religious)
Forgiveness
Fostering self-love and love for others

😌 Stage 7: The Return

When we have moved through depression, it is truly a time for celebration. To savour everything we can about life.

“When I think of the return after the journey through and beyond depression, I remember stories from around the world in which the hero sets off to find the priceless jewel or the peerless bride. He travels long and far, overcoming countless obstacles, only to return home to discover that the jewel was sitting on his windowsill, that the ideal bride all along had lived next door. The scene of our lives may or may not be different, but, as we come to the close of this part of our journey, we have new eyes with which to see it.” - page 321

Finally, James leaves us with en suggestions for how we can care for ourselves as we return from the journey through depression:

Relax - for it allows us to roll with the punches.
Move - it is fundamental to all human life.
Be Aware - every single step depends on it.
Acceptance - with our beauty and our faults.
Have Patience - with our pains and moods.
Time Out - is essential for staying connected to ourselves, happy and healthy.
Fear Not - that the depression will return.
Ask For Help - for we have our own limits.
Trust Your Inner Guide - it knows more than you think.
Celebrate Everything - it’s the difference between existing and really living.

So there we are. Another week, another book, and another raft of techniques, strategies and inspiration we can use in our lives.

Until next week my friends,Eleanor ❤️🙏

🧠 Resources & Links

🤝 Human Rights list of Mental Health Support Services

🖥 James S. Gordon MD’s Website

📸 Follow James S. Gordon MD on Instagram - 6.6k followers

🐥 Follow Dr James Gordon on Twitter - 1.6k followers

📕 Next week’s book

Coming out next Wednesday 31st August 2022 is #31:📚 The Happiness Advantage🖋 by Shawn Achor

“Our most commonly held formula for success is broken. Conventional wisdom holds that once we succeed, we'll be happy; that once we get that great job, win that next promotion, lose those five pounds, happiness will follow. But the science reveals this formula to be backward: Happiness fuels success, not the other way around.”